I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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