so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I need water and some morals
Randomize