Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Randomize
