Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
