Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You pole danced in your parka.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
