seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.