At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.