hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now