You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences In Dating Men And Women
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too