btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
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I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
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Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today