So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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