sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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