I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
