She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
