You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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