you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
