i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
