i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
