We won't sleep together?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
dude. I can hear the air.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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