I wannas sexs uuuuu
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
