i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
We got so high we made milksteak
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.