Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?