think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize