i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
