There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
