If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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