Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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