just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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