I'm gonna have a badass scar
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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