Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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