If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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