I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
No...this little piggys going to the bar
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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