idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
