oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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