In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
