So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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