My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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