Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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