It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I enjoy the company of your penis
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
