As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
