Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize