and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
love makes seman taste better
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
