My balls are so social today.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize