So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
