It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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