Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize