this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize