Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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