Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
