Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
