Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
