You're a womanizer and a bitch.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
