i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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