I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
