we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
