Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize
