You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
