Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
