Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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