Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
