Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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