You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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