It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
