Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
