I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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