I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I'm always down for nudity.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
